Warning: include() [
function.include]: URL file-access is disabled in the server configuration in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
29
Warning: include(http://www.danielbeadle.com/header.php) [
function.include]: failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
29
Warning: include() [
function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.danielbeadle.com/header.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
29
Warning: include() [
function.include]: URL file-access is disabled in the server configuration in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
31
Warning: include(http://www.danielbeadle.com/nav.php) [
function.include]: failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
31
Warning: include() [
function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.danielbeadle.com/nav.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
31
Joel Riggins
Real Name:Joel Riggins
Occupation:Painter, salesman
Base of Operations:Milford, Massachusetts
Marital Status:Bachelor
Height:5' 9"
Weight:160 lbs
Eyes:Brown
Hair:Brown
Special Skills:Able to drink for prolonged periods of time; capable of flirting and/or molesting virtually anyone in his vicinity without compunction or objection; unsurpassed ability to drive well while intoxicated; extremely jovial and destructive when drunk; able to charm his way out of nearly anything
First Appearance:Running on Empty #62 (May 2006)
Like a human equivalent to the Greek god of wine, Joel Riggins represents the intoxicating power of booze, its socially beneficial influences, and the joy of living in the moment. A child of Milford, Massachusetts, and a self-made townie, Joel is a charismatic man about town who can talk his way into or out of anything.
Having been disillusioned by his initial romantic relationships, Joel has embarked on a lifelong bender. Like a classless Charlie Sheen, Joel is a smooth operator, and wears a rugged handsomeness. His thinning hair is always disheveled, his eyes are covered in tea-shades, and he has an eternal five-o’clock shadow. He has an uncommonly high tolerance for alcohol, and a penchant for vandalism.
As Joel slowly passes his prime, he begins to focus more on the leftovers of the dating scene, particularly sassy fat chicks. Regardless, Joel is magnetic, even though his excuses for his lewd and sometimes obscene behavior often times fall flat.
Dan occasionally references Joel as being the truest symbol of hedonism.
Joel Riggins is ™ and © 2006 Joel Riggins. All Rights Reserved.
Warning: include() [
function.include]: URL file-access is disabled in the server configuration in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
95
Warning: include(http://www.danielbeadle.com/headlines.php) [
function.include]: failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
95
Warning: include() [
function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.danielbeadle.com/headlines.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
95
Warning: include() [
function.include]: URL file-access is disabled in the server configuration in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
97
Warning: include(http://www.danielbeadle.com/footer.php) [
function.include]: failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
97
Warning: include() [
function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.danielbeadle.com/footer.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in
/home/content/d/b/e/dbeadle511/html/char/joel.php on line
97